On Call

{Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship.  Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.}

-Romans 12:1-2a

Jay started a new rotation this past week and has been on-call since Friday morning.  That means this weekend we haven't been able to do much but wait around at the house for a phone call that may or may not come through.  I spent the majority of Friday night and Saturday anxious for that phone call that would take my husband away from me and an otherwise enjoyable and relaxing weekend.  It wasn't until late last night and this morning that the Lord burdened my heart with a sobering realization...

I realized that sometimes (myself included) people just tend to wait for a 'calling' from the Lord before they act on or enjoy what He's already given them.  I recognized that the Lord has given me my ministry in my job, in my marriage, in my relationships, in my attitude and in my every day circumstances.  I wasn't enjoying the time I had with my husband or making the most of every moment together with him, I was just anxiously awaiting (bitterly, mind you) for him to have leave me for a stupid job.  Whoa, when I took a step back and evaluated my heart and attitude, let me tell you, it was not good.  How was I responding to God's calling in my life as a wife in that moment?  I was resenting the fact that Jay had a calling, too - that the Lord had given him!

I must say, when I recognized my ugly heart and began to consider my attitude these last few weeks, it was not pleasant.  I realized that in order to respond to God's calling in my life with joy and delight, my mind must be renewed and I must choose to be transformed into Christ-likeness by the Holy Spirit.  Wow, lately I had not even recognized my life as a ministry much less chosen to be content in what He had set before me.  

I'm so grateful the Lord is sanctifying me each and everyday and that I can learn from His Word to become the woman He wants me to be.  I desperately want my life to be a living sacrifice for God, for my spiritual act of worship to be my LIFE.  This, of course, is all in view of His mercy, His goodness, His sovereignty and His sacrifice and my response is to take the call and to make the most of what the Lord has so graciously given me.